Snapshot: She’s almost a Teenager

When my wife told me that we were having our first child, we ran to Barnes and Noble to look for parenting books. I found a great book… at least I think it was a great book. I didn’t actually read past the introduction. But! I bought it, and that counts right?
Wouldn’t it be easier if we could take a Snapshot of a book and just get the meat? I’m glad you asked. Below you will find a snapshot on the
She’s Almost a Teenager Essential Conversations to Have Now.
Authors: Peter & Heather Larson, David & Claudia Arp


This is more than just another book about having “the talk” or a survival guide for the
tween years with your daughter. This book is an informative and fun book about all the big
conversations that parents need to have with their daughter before they head into adolescence.
While targeted at the parents of pre-teens, this book is a helpful book for all parents with young
daughters. Even for parents that have missed the pre-teen conversation, it is not too late to still
have the important conversations spelled out in this book. Written by parents for parents, this
book is just plain out great!


Conversation 1: The Big Picture Talk
Beginning with the end in mind, the “Big Picture” talk is talking to your daughter about
the years ahead and being a teen, before it all begins. It is about having a conversation that will
help her and you successfully navigate the years ahead. Beyond the teenage years, the goal of
the conversation is also doing the work of preparing them to be an independent, wellfunctioning
woman. Parents must be aware of their own style of parenting as they approach
this conversation. Are they “the smotherer”, the “pusher”, or “the releaser”? This is the
moment of moving beyond being the caregiver and teacher to finally standing back, being the
Conversation 2: The Friends Talk
Tween years is when the relational shift from family to friends happens. This
conversation is where parents identify what it has meant be part of their family, while they
prepare their daughter to be influenced by peers. A parent’s voice is soon to not be the only
voice or the loudest voice in a daughter’s life, as friends begin to have the power to influence.
The influence can be a good or it can be bad. A parent’s role in this essential conversation is to
help their daughter be ready to stand up for themselves and what they know is right
Conversation 3: The Academic Talk
The pressure and stress is growing as a daughter heads into the
next level of school. Academically, socially and emotionally school is
the place of education in all ways. The “academic” conversation is a
time to talk about citizenship, vocation, and mental growth.
This conversation is also about what are the things that may be
standing in the way of these goals. Is a daughter finding her balance,
is she discovering the difference between achievement and
intelligence, and does she understand the meaning of success?
Conversation 4: The Body Talk
The “hormonal rollercoaster” is between the ages of 8 and 12, and it comes before the
full change over into adolescent development. Beyond the usual change of a young girl’s body
and emotions, she also must face the confusing messages of our world. A girl must learn to
understand her body and accept her body as it goes through the changes of the teenage years.
It is why the “body” conversation is so important. The conversations must cover body image,
eating habits, clothing and modesty.
Conversation 5: The Faith Talk
The tween years are the years moving from parent’s faith to personal faith. It is a time to
internalize and take on individual belief and spiritual growth. Parents in this conversation must
challenge their young daughter to ask the big questions and seek the big answers. These years
are a time also of moving from concrete understanding of beliefs to an abstract discovery of
Conversation 6: The Boys Talk
While boys may be still viewed as gross, it is only a short time away when a girl will
begin to think about dating, relationships, and even marriage. This “talk” will be a time for
parents to discuss their views of dating and relationships. This will be an opportunity to teach
about pursuit, response and honesty in relationships with boys. This is the moment when girls
learn how to guard their heart, eyes and body in respect for their future husband.
Conversation 7: The Money Talk
The “money talk” is about learning the value of money and Godly stewardship of it.
Parents need to sit down and talk about budgets, expenses and what is the difference between a
need and a want. In this conversation, once again, the end goal must be in mind and discussed
as a family looks ahead to college and/or career. A great way to discuss money is through
discussing how she might deal with an unexpected gift of money. Would she be a “spender or a
saver”? How much would she spend, save and give?
Conversation 8: The Tech Talk
The “tech talk” is formed around three main things: rights, responsibilities and
privileges. Based on the world a tween lives in, they often assume a privilege is a right. Just
because a girl is heading into her teen years, it is not her right to have a smartphone, it is a
privilege. As parents have this conversation, they can separate the culture’s perspective from
their own family values, teaching their daughter that with technology privileges come
technology responsibilities. The responsibilities also come with rewards and consequences.
As always this “snapshot” is a very quick overview of a long and in-depth book full of
great parental advice and wisdom. It is provided to help you get a glimpse to see if this book
would be a great fit for your family, ministry or church. We strongly encourage you to buy
the full-length resource at your local bookstore or online. We hope you will.

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